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15. elokuuta 2018

Keeping Up With the Relationships / Ihmissuhteiden Ylläpidosta


An old friend of mine send me a message
Asking how I was doing
When answering
He explained me
That he was testing how many would answer
How many of his old friends were interested of keeping up the connection

This made me wonder
What is this that prevents us keeping up the connection?


I know myself
I'm lousy at keeping up with my friends
I won't call so often or send message just to ask how they are doing
And my friends know this too
Obviously

I simply feel home by myself
I have always somethings going on
I manage to fill my days with all kind of little things I'm interested of
And even without trying
Honestly
I'm rarely bored

But sometimes it feels lonely too
Not seeing anybody in several days
In the other hand people often also contact me
So my need of connection to other people will fill
Of course those whom do not contact me and wait me to contact will suffer

Years ago I decided to change this behavior
I wanted to be in more connection with the people
Whom had left some kind of mark in my soul during my life
People whom meant something to me
I made a New Years promise
That once a week
I would ask at least one friend to have a coffee with me
And at least once a week
I would ask one far distance friend how he or she was doing


Well
Like all New Year promises
Some weeks I have been able to remember this promise
And some weeks not

What made me forget?

The everyday life
Our days are so full of all kind of little things
That some weeks it feels impossible to find time to have one cup of coffee with a friend
We have time to do the laundry
To read a book
To prepare a meal
Hang out in socialmedia
Worry about the future
Blame oneself about the past
Make deep analyzes why our romantic relationships with men/women are doomed

A lot of time for the little things
That make us say outloud
Oh, I would love to, but I don't have time

But after all
There is always time
Because time is an illusion
Time is an excuse
It is all about prioritizing your time
For what do you want use your time


In nearby relationships
With people whom are somehow related to your everyday life
This is easier
Yes, I can do the dishes later and have a cup of coffee with you today
But with long distance relationships it's harder

You remember the people
How could you even forget them
They have been important part of your everyday life at some point
You will always carry a memory of that time in your heart
And they pop up from deep of your minds memory boxes time to time
When some happening reminds you of them
Or some song, smell, feeling or material thing
In that moment you think of them
Wonder how they are doing and say to yourself
Yes, I need to call them or write a letter
And in the next moment
When the cat is meowing for supper
Or the pasta is boiling over
The thought of calling or writing a letter will vanish from your mind
As suddenly as it had came


I would love to say to myself that I will do better in the future
But I'm also little bit afraid
That I won't manage to keep up my promise to myself this time either
But again if I won't even try
I will never know
And those connections to long distance relationships
That are surviving only with the memory of past time
Will little by little faint away


On the other hand
Some people are only meant to briefly pass by in our life
They will give us something memorable
Guide us to new direction
Give us strength to carry on
And we will always remember them  for that
But maybe they felt it different
Maybe for them it was only a passing moment among others
You never know
What the future holds

But by keeping up with the relationships that mean something to you
You will find out
Which ones are the ones
Meant to last


I encourage you to write or call to somebody dear to you
Just to ask how he or she is doing
And listen them when they tell you
Be present for them
Show them he or she matters



27. kesäkuuta 2018

Time for Everything / Kaikella on Aikansa




After all the chaos
When everything shorts out
World around you is in it's perfect place
In perfect harmony
Your whole life flows to the right direction
One pleasant and exiting surprise follows an other
When you wouldn't change a thing


Then
You start the worrying
When does it all end
When comes the first beat
Of the collapse

Why
Am I having all this good
Did I deserve it
Is it away from somebody else
Are you allowed to feel happiness
To enjoy


They say
That when everything is good
When you'r safe and sound in your life
Then comes the old demons
Those whom are buried so deep inside your mind
That you don't probably even know they exist
They live in the deep wounds of your mind
Where is dark
Where you wouldn't wanna go
Ever

But
When your mind decides it is time
When it decides you'r ready
When the moment is right
The wounds open
And reveal the darkness inside
Releases the demons of your past


This all happens without you knowing
Your mind doesn't send you a note
"Hey, btw I'm planning to do this now..."

No
You know it
When you find yourself
On a peaceful evening
Wondering all the good
All the perfect things in your life
And feel sad
Without any obvious reason

And you blame yourself
For being ungrateful bitch
For not being able to enjoy
Wondering
What the fuck is wrong with you


In this place
In this state of mind
Be the loving adult for yourself
Wrap your arms around you
With love and compassion
Ask yourself
What's wrong my dear
Why are you so sad
And then
Listen to yourself
Listen what you have to say
Don't blame
Don't undermine
Be there
Be present
Listen


And maybe
By showing your love
You can help yourself
Heal the wounds
Let them grow scars
Telling your story
The things you have survived
The things that have made you strong





9. toukokuuta 2018

Rakkauden Sirpaleet / Shards of Love



Ulkopuolinen
Erilainen
Yksinäinen
Sellaiseksi tein itseni
Suojellakseni
Välttyäkseni
Selviytyäkseni


Vuosien jälkeen
Siltikin
Kaipaan
Syvempää yhteyttä
Edelleen
Haluaisin juosta
Mahdollisimman kauas
Pakoon
Itseäni


He ovat
Parasta mitä minulla on
He ovat
Pahinta mitä minussa on
Heidän vuokseen
Olen rikki
Heidän vuokseen
Olen rakastettu
He tekivät minusta minut
Loivat haasteet olemiselleni
He rakastavat minua
Sellaisena kuin olen


He särkivät minut
Ennen kuin sitä tiesivät
Ennen kuin tiesin voivani särkyä
Ojensivat liiman
Jolla opettelin korjaamaan itseni
Saman liiman
Jolla itsensä korjasivat
Kun heidät lapsena särjettiin


Sirpaleet eivät tuo onnea
Kauniin sekavaa mosaiikkia
Pala palalta hahmottaa
Itseään rakentaa
Hauraasti kohoaa
Omille jaloille seisomaan

Antaa valon koskettaa

Säröistämme
Valo loistaa sisään
Säröistämme
Rakkaus pääsee sisään

Meidät yhteen palauttaa



24. huhtikuuta 2017

The Fantastic Fear of Everything / Kaiken Ihmeellinen Pelko

Pelkää menettää
Pelkää päästää lähelle
Pelkää luottaa
Silloinkin voi menettää
Pelkää että sattuu
Pelkokin sattuu
Aina sattuu
Aina pelkää
Elon täydeltä pelkoa pelkkää

Mihin voi luottaa
Jos ei edes itseensä
Kuka huutaisi varo
Siivoaisi sirut ympäriltä
Et uskalla rikkoa edes lasia
Et luota
Joku siivoaisi
Et uskalla


Uskalla
Tai jatka samalla tavalla
Opitulla tavalla
Leuka rinnalla
Katse omalla navalla
Kurjuuden lavalla
Järjen vaakalaudalla
Sateen varjon alla
Suojassa paskalla
Niin matalalla
Jalat pinnan alla


Piirrä rajat kartalle
Näytä muurit linnalle
Kaiva haavat aukealle
Vaan mille hinnalle
Surumme pinnalle
Runon rinnalle
Nukahdan sun rinnalle
Ihosi pinnalle
Piirrän linnamme
Turvapaikkamme
Ikuisuuden Luojamme
Onnen tuojamme




23. maaliskuuta 2017

Rakastamisesta / About Love

I love my mother
With all the child's heart
I love my father
With all the daughter's heart

I love my brothers and sisters
With all the power
Of the everlasting bond
That connect's us together

I love my friends
With all that has brought us together
With all the love that keeps us together
I love the nature and the universe
As I'm part of it and it's part of me
Inextricably

I love human beings
My fellow travelers in this universe
This reality
I love the human body
As can only an other human being love it


All this love one can learn during a life
And all this I have learned on my journey
This love is now written in to me
And this love I'm sharing to the world

It is respecting love
Thankfulness
For capability to love
For unconditional love
Undemanding love

Some day I will love my children
With all the mother's love


So..
How do you love your partner

With a parent's love
Child's love
Or a friend's love
Or
With equal love

From all the aspects of love I know
Only a friend's love
And love for an other human being
Are equal


Could we...
Would it be possible
To learn to love your partner
By loving him/her first as a friend
As a human being
Find the respect for an other being
For a friend
Before rushing in
To a wrong kinda love

Could it be possible
Would it be true
Love