Keeping Up With the Relationships / Ihmissuhteiden Ylläpidosta

An old friend of mine send me a message

Asking how I was doing

When answering

He explained me

That he was testing how many would answer

How many of his old friends were interested of keeping up the connection

This made me wonder

What is this that prevents us keeping up the connection?

I know myself

I'm lousy at keeping up with my friends

I won't call so often or send message just to ask how they are doing

And my friends know this too

Obviously

I simply feel home by myself

I have always somethings going on

I manage to fill my days with all kind of little things I'm interested of

And even without trying
Honestly

I'm rarely bored

But sometimes it feels lonely too

Not seeing anybody in several days

In the other hand people often also contact me

So my need of connection to other people will fill

Of course those whom do not contact me and wait me to contact will suffer

Years ago I decided to change this behavior

I wanted to be in more connection with the people

Whom had left some kind of mark in my soul during my life

People whom meant something to me

I made a New Years promise

That once a week

I would ask at least one friend to have a coffee with me

And at least once a week

I would ask one far distance friend how he or she was doing

Well

Like all New Year promises

Some weeks I have been able to remember this promise

And some weeks not

What made me forget?

The everyday life

Our days are so full of all kind of little things

That some weeks it feels impossible to find time to have one cup of coffee with a friend

We have time to do the laundry

To read a book

To prepare a meal

Hang out in socialmedia

Worry about the future

Blame oneself about the past

Make deep analyzes why our romantic relationships with men/women are doomed

A lot of time for the little things

That make us say outloud

Oh, I would love to, but I don't have time

But after all

There is always time

Because time is an illusion

Time is an excuse

It is all about prioritizing your time

For what do you want use your time

In nearby relationships

With people whom are somehow related to your everyday life

This is easier

Yes, I can do the dishes later and have a cup of coffee with you today

But with long distance relationships it's harder

You remember the people

How could you even forget them

They have been important part of your everyday life at some point

You will always carry a memory of that time in your heart

And they pop up from deep of your minds memory boxes time to time

When some happening reminds you of them

Or some song, smell, feeling or material thing

In that moment you think of them

Wonder how they are doing and say to yourself

Yes, I need to call them or write a letter

And in the next moment
When the cat is meowing for supper

Or the pasta is boiling over

The thought of calling or writing a letter will vanish from your mind

As suddenly as it had came

I would love to say to myself that I will do better in the future

But I'm also little bit afraid

That I won't manage to keep up my promise to myself this time either

But again if I won't even try

I will never know

And those connections to long distance relationships

That are surviving only with the memory of past time

Will little by little faint away

On the other hand
Some people are only meant to briefly pass by in our life

They will give us something memorable

Guide us to new direction

Give us strength to carry on

And we will always remember them  for that

But maybe they felt it different

Maybe for them it was only a passing moment among others

You never know

What the future holds

But by keeping up with the relationships that mean something to you

You will find out

Which ones are the ones

Meant to last

I encourage you to write or call to somebody dear to you

Just to ask how he or she is doing

And listen them when they tell you

Be present for them

Show them he or she matters

Be a Fan